Disenchanted Mind

Hide Out

2008-12-22T23:21:00.000-08:00

Thoughts.
"Hide Out"
On top of a golden brown hill, sits a quaint little old house.
The sun cascades through the massive hole in the roof,
the windows missing panes, the doorways without doors,
the holes in the walls that appear to be doors and windows,
and permeates into every dark corner of that hidden place.

Inside white paint peels off, from age, into
snowflakes that slowly fall to the ground exposing
underneath the scars and wear from years of torrential
rains, suffocating heat waves, and unforgiving winds,

and inside a small boy plays, running through
falling snow flakes that flicker in the rays of light,
forgetting the cruel world of jokes,
mean names, and pain until all there is
is the joy of that hidden place.

Opinion
This is a piece I did for my advanced creative writing poetry course. I think it is my strongest modern piece as of yet. It is a ekphrastic poem which is a poem derived from a piece of art. I really like the images it portrays and the emotions behind it. I hope it moves you too.

Recommended Listening
Album: "Wish You Were Here" By: Pink Floyd
Song: "Wish You Were Here"

Fly Fishing

2008-10-24T01:14:00.000-07:00

Thoughts.
"Fly Fishing"
The fly moves above the cool crystal
clear water that rushes past my legs,
a prey hidden underneath taunting.
With another gentle flick the fly
moves before coming to rest on top
of the water. The current slowly
pulling it under the shade of draping
Manzanita Branches. The trees rustle
in the cool mountain breeze.

With a flash of rainbow, the fly is pulled
under the depths into an ice covered grave;
the jaws of the prey devouring it
to the squeal of the reel.

The sky becomes the land as
I hold the rainbow in my hand;
the rainbow is too brilliant to capture,
and in a splash, the land becomes the sky again.

Still my waning faith’s tested,
with yet another gentle flick,
the fly moves once again.

Opinion
This is a piece I did for my advanced creative writing poetry course. I overall really enjoyed it and got some good feedback. This is the updated version of the poem. I hope you enjoy it very much. It is from a very personal experience for me.

Recommended Listening
Album: "It's a Wonderful Life" By: Sparklehorse
Song: "Sea of Teeth"

Lay to Rest (Ballad)

2007-01-02T18:27:00.000-08:00

Thoughts
"Lay to Rest."
A soul tired of his plight,
resting behind closed eyes,
as the weary days give way,
to endless starlit skies.

Clinging to the dreary night,
with teeming dreams to find.
Hidden place un-reached by time,
a world he left behind.

A mist covered night will die,
with a brand new day received.
As the darkness creeps away,
A lost moon gives its leave.

He's ripped from his hidden place,
greeting moonlight dew,
with yet another day to face,
but ending still to soon.

Opinion
I know this is an old poem I already posted, but for my poetry class last semester I took it and redid the structure to change it into a classical ballad. I thought the ballad was very fitting for this poem giving it a much more rhythmic sound and structured rhyming form. I'm hoping to get a new poem done soon but am not quit sure how soon. I've had an idea float ashore from my sea of thoughts about a week or two ago and would like to turn it into a poem. Will see what I can get done. I'm busy with writing a story for a game and also work plus school starts in 7 more days. I'll try to keep some updates coming though.

Ode to the Forgotten

2006-12-05T23:07:00.000-08:00

Thoughts
"Ode to the Forgotten"
Our eyes peering through the passing days
into dreams of a better place and time,
but where will the forgotten go
when we have blamelessly forgot.
The world slipping by in our naivety;
the naive world slipping by us.
Piece by piece giving its leave
without a single tear or trembling goodbye.
Not a comforting word to fill the void
in the midst of the bitter turmoil of life.
Pridefully holding on in our desperate solitude,
trying to find fragments that have long been lost
in the noise and clutter of a responsible lie.
Wondering in the ruins of a beautiful mind,
Hopefully one day to be remembered,
the forgot that has forgotten the world,
the forgotten world that has forgot.

Opinion
Here is my last poem for my poetry class, I'm going to keep working on new stuff though. This is an Ode as the title states. I wrestled with this one for a little bit and am still not completely satisfied with the outcome but I don't think I can revise it any better from this point.

Unnamed

2006-12-05T00:03:00.000-08:00

Thoughts
"Unnamed"

From the ocean of bodies, Rose looks
On,
rage
deep
in
her
eyes,
still rotting
in her mind the
blood covered
memories of
her family
gone.
The screams that
bled all into one until
silenced with one final
shot, still echoed in her
head. The pull of a lever
silencing the din of the
roaring crowd; then in
unison, a celebration of
death. Blearing through
the deafening crowd, the
screams of her
family gone;
the death not
bringing quiet
so deserved.
Fluttering in
on deaths
exit, a stream
of tears for
endless
beauty
hung

Mike Marla John Timmy Tom Dennies Matt Emily Sean Tarik Stan Michele Christine Kyle Nicky Bob Jim Angel Tim Allen Stevey Julia Monique Cory Travis bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies Jane bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies bodies
Opinion
This is a shaped poem. As you can tell, it has to resemble some shape that correlates with the poem. I'm going to just let you know this took about 20 minutes of formatting it to get it to look just how I had it in a word document. I still don't think it'll scale properly with differently resolutions. I know how to fix that but currently don't have the time. I might go back some time in next few days though and fix it so no matter what the resolution it'll scale properly. I hope you enjoy it. By the way, yes it's a person hanging. Also I just noticed this whole time I've been copying and pasting my formatting, I totally passed up my miss spelling of opinion. I'm not going to go back and fix every one probably, but I thought I'd just say sorry.

Momento Mori

2006-12-05T00:00:00.000-08:00

Thoughts
"Momento Mori"
In the fleeting
moments of
mortality

A glimpse into
the shadows
of reality.
Hiding;
a monument
to memento mori

With endless
Patience,
approaching
with every
day that
slowly
drifts
by

Until here comes your whole life

But
Every
Second you
breath is in
defiance –

So hold on to those
contradictory moments,
letting every second be frozen

Opionin
This is a Williams style poem. It centers around the concept of an old Roman phrase "momento mori" which means remember you're only mortal. I use tension in a very significant and symbolic way through this poem.

Falling

2006-10-22T20:23:00.000-07:00

Thoughts
"Falling"
Drifting on a tattered and worn out dream,
A heart slips into the sea of faces.
With an accepting smile and a stream
Of tears, he falls through the sky with his grace
The endless eyes watching from the blur of life,
Slipping through clouds and rays of light, splash-
ing into the concrete stream, eyes open wide.
Slowly floating down as the currents pass,
Resting in the deep depths, a rusted heart.
Souls come and gone, forgot what beauty they
Saw. He admires, never to depart.
The pain of watching souls pass everyday
Suffocates, but he thinks and finds relief,
“What is beauty if never truly seen?”

Opionin
Hope you guys like this one.

Dawn

2006-10-21T02:10:00.000-07:00

Thoughts
"Dawn"
Clawing for more from the rage of deceit
A lost generation disfranchised
by corporatism and empty lies.
Fragments of lives shattered in hollow streets
of suburbia America scream-
ing from these endless artificial ties,
“Is there something truly more to our lives,
Are we all just actors in this sad scene?”

With the first clinched fist thrown, so it began,
Bodies flooding on to the sidewalk shores
Pick axes and hammers waving in hand.

The voices echoing through time, “We aren’t our
Pants or shirts. We aren’t Starbucks, Coke, or Coors.
We’re more than what society imparts.”

Opionin
This is an italian sonnet I did. I really enjoyed putting this one together, and I hope you understand what I'm trying to convey.

The Game

2006-09-30T18:53:00.000-07:00

Thoughts
"The Game"
Two kings on each side of a checkered
battlefield, war waging in front of them,
kneeling to the sky they call differently.
And on hallow ground bloody corpses lay,
a testament to gods will slippery
tongues will tell. What is one death if two souls
are saved. It's two more souls to save four more;
for the pawns don't know it's a number game.
Men have cried and bled for king, land, and wealth
but every drop spilt in his true glory
will be remembered with your final breath.
And with the last expression on your face
knights, bishop, queen, and king praise the same god
that watched your eyes go so pale. For a king's and
bishop's blood is to great for "god's true will".

Opionin
This is a blank verse poem I wrote for my poetry course. It has no standard rhyming scheme, it just has to be in pentamic meter. Most classical plays and shakespares plays where writtin in this form such as his infamous "To Be or Not to Be" speech. I thought it came out very well and portrayed my point.

Recommended Viewing
Movie: "Fight Club" *Pay close attention through out this one kids*

The American Feast

2006-09-27T22:36:00.000-07:00

Thoughts
"The American Feast"
“A pound of flesh for every ounce of pain.”
It’s so very hard to admit
You feed these demons you have made

Bound by the albatross of dismay.
It doesn’t hurt if you just submit
"A pound of flesh for an ounce of pain."

So comforting is your dismay
In this age of endless content
You feed these demons you have made.

Afraid to leave this dead world you’ve made.
Your whole life you have to commit
"A pound of flesh for an ounce of pain."

The tears crystallize on your face
While images help you forget
You feed these demons you have made.

You believe there is no escape
Because of the lies they transmit,
“A pound of flesh for every ounce of pain,
You must feed these daemons you’ve made."

Opionin
I wrote this poem for my Creative Writing, Poetry Class. It's in villanelle form and has a very standard rhyming scheme. I only ended up putting in one approximate rhyme. Overall I was happy about how it came out, surprisingly though my teacher liked it very much and literally appluaded me for it. By the way I apologize for the massive void of updates. Again I've gotten so busy with work and school I don't have as much time to do free writing. I'm going to post a few poems I wrote for my poetry class though. I'll put up a new italian sonnet very soon.

Recommended Listening
Album: "The Death of the Pixies" By: The Pixies
Song: "Where is My Mind?"

Lay to Rest

2005-11-17T04:23:00.000-08:00

Thoughts
"Lay to Rest"
Lay to rest, behind these closed eyes
Hanging sun given way to a
Previous day lost by moon light

Struggling evening weakening
With appearing stars giving leave
To a exhausted day grieving

Disappear into my mind
The night and time will supply
Endless dreams to always find.

This reality I'll leave
Ever fading memories
Disappear into my dreams

Clinging to a dreary night
Forget the endless plight
Which I would die to make right

With a brand new day received
A fading moon is reprieved
Until sunset brings evening

A world kissed by morning dew
I will be reborn anew
But it will all end too soon.

Opionin
I really liked how this poem came together and flowed. I took the structural style from Lewis Caroll's book "Through the Looking Glass". I recommend checking out his poem if you haven't. It's at the very end of the story. Hope you like this one.

Recommended Listening
Album: "A Ghost Tropic" By: Songs: Ohia
Song: "The Oceans's Nerve"

Desperate Times

2005-11-17T04:16:00.000-08:00

Thoughts
"Desperate Times"
A generation lost in the sea of information
Can't seem to escape the desperation,
Going towards this destination.

Gone with the abstract and the odds are stacked
But just pack another bowl,
You'll never loose control so keep on being an actor in this show.

Looking for something to hold but it always grows old
But you can't let go of your false hope
In these desperate times so just keep on with the lies
Hiding and waiting for a sign but you're better off waiting to finally die.

Society says we have to be something with meaning
But were keen to see it�s only a machine so we flee to street
Just lost in this concrete dream desiring something tangible
But we can't even handle the intangible.

Just another walking billboard for corporate America,
Another tax payer so the government can afford another war
Scare you into being a consumer whore, buy a new ford, swipe that card
It's not that hard and don�t even regard the debt you start.

Grab your weapon because were tired of this lesson
In this mentality and reality, a decree to trade humanity
For what ever society deems.

Corporate downsizing and outsourcing throwing people in the alleys and
streets, not able to eat or even meet there basic needs, with CEO�s holding
12.3 million in pay roll and there workers going home with only minimum
wage to show and the senators and governors don�t know as long as they
get their piece of the dough.

So grab your thought, grab your brush and art, grab your poem and guitar.
Say you fought, and don�t depart until the last beat of your heart
So grab your glock, clinch your fist, and let them hear the shots,
Say you saw the revolution that resisted the exchange of humanity for capitalist governed democracies.

Opionin
How this generation is lost in desperate times scraping for something they don't even know themselves.

Recommended Listening
Album: "Revolutionary,Vol. 2" By: Immortal Technique
Song: "The 4th Branch"

Reaching Moments

2005-10-02T18:10:00.000-07:00

Thoughts
"Reaching Moments"
The universe drips off my mind and all I know comes unsowed.
What's a moment of time but endless ways to die?
Every facet of life and meaning comes reaching from everything I see.

Feel that were all intertwined, tugs at me and all my being.
Don’t even try and fight, pulls me in every time
Discover the true lie, fates a made up game for those who want an escape.

Feel it creeping through my veins, the moment finally descends
Break free of all my chains which I despise and hate.
I’ll finally wake to a point of no return without a shred of concern

Finally beat mortality, be gone with all that’s wrong
My conscience slowly bends revealing a new vision.
Abolish the endless twisted perceptions and made deceptions.

The true point deluded to a weak truth by those who want to use you,

In terriost attacks, putting you in income brackets and collecting taxes, corporate distribution to the masses, passing the patriot act, Electing republicans and democrats, political plans and making a tool out of man.

So much more, reach out to a brand new existence and finally transcend.
Feel the vibration of the minute strings
Find the conceptualization of our salvation
Feel it reaching out from every doubt about this creation.

Opionin
I have been working on this poem for a while and finally finished. I was pleased how it came out. I hope you enjoy it.

Imagine Blue

2005-05-19T20:46:00.000-07:00

Thoughts
"Imagine Blue"
Imagine blues finger on the trigger
Imagine blue when he realizes the meaning of life
When he pulls his finger and says goodbye.

Blue tried so hard but it didn’t seem to matter every day just seemed to get worse
At every turn there stood monsters he couldn’t seem to escape.

Blue wrote and drew with his blood and tears
He wanted to make something beautiful,
Something every one could love,
Something he would die for.

Endless nights he ached, he would say,” I will show them something great.”
But no matter how much he clawed he never seemed to get far
When one lonely day he finally had made something worth dying for.

Imagine blues finger on the trigger
Imagine blue when he realizes the meaning of life
When he pulls his finger and says goodbye.

Opionin
This poem was actually from a assignment my english teacher gave me but I really liked how it came out so I thought I would share it.

Falling

2005-04-20T16:45:00.000-07:00

Thoughts
"Falling"
I fell, didn’t mean for it to be this way
Todays gone turning into yesterday
And it’s all gone away this feeling turning extricating

The setups and falls have shown with the dying sun.
Grab a gun and join in on the hunt.
The race has begun and no ones ever won

I looked, what I have found is all wrong
This twisted painting has been found all along
But I’ve tried to tear it apart for so long

These paradoxical statements haunt me
Not able to find relief from this tragic scene
Or turn it into something worth seeing.

Opionin
Well It's been another long exhausting day. First work, then school where I had to listen to some pompus know it all, who was high, make a fool of himself. Sorry haven't been updating but back to a busy schedule. Here is a new one though. I hope you guys like it.

Silhouette for the Weary

2005-02-28T18:05:00.000-08:00

Thoughts
"Silhouette for the Weary"
Nostalgia drifts in on a dreary night
Slowly washing ashore my soul those thoughts of torment take hold
They scrape across my mind yet another time

How that glimmer of hope wavers
With another dying day and another rotting face
Can’t find a beautiful image to saver

One more weary fight
Before this image dies
Finally disappears, drug out light

Lost in the shadows child
Snuggle near me as we hide
On this lost dreary night

The emptiness creeps back in
Hold on to the fleeting moment of content
Blown away on a cold winter wind

Ice covered prison all around
Echoing on a new day found
But truly lost far beyond the ages like a hound

Opionins
This was done for a section in my book but thought I would put it up here for you guys to read.
Edit: Sorry forgot a section of the poem and just added it.

Field of Dreams

2005-02-07T20:21:00.000-08:00

Thoughts
"Field of Dreams"
I lay in this field of fluttering dreams, watching these possible lives with my eyes.
Why won’t you come to me, my beautiful butterfly? Am I believing a lie?

Is this place we made not enough for you to stay?
I pick and prod this apart try to make it good enough for a new start.
Will the rain of sorrow and wasted love finally come?
Will the bright days finally come and be gone bringing a pitch black dawn?

Has these dreams overwhelmed you to a point of no return?
Has the story of the loin and boy shown itself like you warned?

I want to lay here for the rest of time
It will slowly darken and I'll be filled with fright
As these dreams slowly weave into nightmares and endless fears.

Have to let go and run from that field
To never return if I want to truly be healed.

Opionins
Why can't we find this field of dreams together?

Recommended Listening
Album: "A Rush of Blood to The Head" By Coldplay
Song: "Warning Signs"

Meaningless Struggle

2005-01-31T16:41:00.000-08:00

Thoughts
"Meaningless Struggle"
Bleed, sweat and cry, Try so hard but never get far
Bones quiver muscles are sore and what’s it all for?
Want to design a whole new life and show the world all my cares and worries
Stumble and scurry try to catch up with the flow but nothing ever seems to show.

Will this struggle mount to nothing
Will this struggle ever become something.

My brain is racked with so much pain can’t find the end to this maze.
My heart always bleeding in this empty race.

I feel the subtle waves society tells me to follow but it’s all so hallow.
I try to ignore it and follow these beautiful highs I find but there always ripped from me by the tyrant shouting in my face that I will never be able to make anything more then a quick dime and an artificial life.

Will this struggle be pointless.
Will this just be a meaningless struggle.

Has my mind fooled me to look for so much more?

Opionins
Will all this amount to a false lie?

Recommended Listening
Album: "Were In This Together(CD2)" By Nine Inch Nails
Song: "The New Flesh"

The Edge of Reality

2005-01-25T16:09:00.000-08:00

Thoughts
“The Edge of Reality”
I have no reasons just these beliefs,
I’m just a story teller of a wonderful way to think, no time for these empty things.
I’ll lead you to magnificent worlds if you’ll just walk with me
Across these rolling hills and over these creeks.

I promise it will be hard to wonder across these scorched valleys that are so parch
And weather these painful storms that bring so much scorn.
But just stay here beside me through these infinite journeys.

The monsters will follow close behind, clawing and biting trying to pull you down,
And the hounds will conspire and whisper in your mind,
And the corpses will pile up sky high but just follow my voice and ignore all the polluted noise; it will always be there in the air.

The scorched valleys and storms will come and go,
the hounds will grow tired and corrode
but in the end if you didn’t give in there will always be that beautiful place sitting at the edge of this reality were you can find true peace.

Opionins
Those that can hear will hear my words and embrace them and those that are deaf will fall. Find your way to the edge of reality.

Recommended Listening
Album: "Songs For The Deaf" By Queens of the Stone Age
Song: "No One Knows"

What Is It All For?

2005-01-23T02:34:00.000-08:00

Thoughts
“What is it for?”
Was this just an illusion I wanted to believe
Was this a utopia I didn’t want to leave.

I can’t find the answer in the midst of your voice
Can’t find the reason in all this turmoil
I’m so tired of this endless war in my head
Feel drug out, going down, just end this dead sound

I see it leaving, that emptiness is creeping back in.
One more time even if it makes me die.

Am I meaningless, meaningless, please don’t let it be.
Am I meaningless, meaningless, please don’t let it be.

Can you not find the joined dreams?
Will it always be this way for me?

Always watching from the edge,
Always listening to whats said
Never able to intervene in this old scene.

Breathe and don’t be afraid
Just take my hand and come back to this land
Where we can say anything and all of it truly have meaning.

Opionins
please just come with me.

A Landscape of Pain

2005-01-21T15:23:00.000-08:00

Thoughts
"Landscape of Pain"
You’re kiss still lingers on my lips.
You’re soft touch of hope still floats across my skin.
You’re eyes still engraved in my mind.

I gave you my heart but you just keep it so far.
My voice portrayed so much but you just went away.

You only found flaws in your beautiful painting,
Only found the horrid things.

I see such gorgeous images in you’re soul,
So much I just want to hold.

I gave you a gift no one has ever been given,
But it just got lost in the end.

Just left in the expantionless landscape of pain
Trying to see what I did to make you fall away.
Can’t understand because I hear what you say.
Just want to go back to those meaningful days.

Opionins
What did I do to make you fall from me?

Recommended Listening
Album: "Example" By For Squirrels
Song: "Eskimo Sandune"

The Lost

2005-01-10T18:06:00.000-08:00

Thoughts
“The Lost”
Their flesh slowly rots as they wander completely lost.
Their souls withered and gone, There false pleasures so wrong.

Eyes as empty as a black sky,
They just try to dress up in lies.
Why can’t I wipe these images from my mind?

These ghosts and zombies always there for me in the streets.
Whisper in my ear, come and join us it’s so easy we know you’re weak.
My soul aches from this war I can’t seem to beat.

I hold out the universe in the palm of my hands, but they just let it slip through like fine sand.
Just drown out another dying day, just look for yet another way.

When it all has passed all that will be left is rotting flesh.
Not a single strand of life as they wait for there second time to die.

Opionins
I see the dead wandering these broken down roads.

Numb

2004-12-29T20:11:00.000-08:00

Thoughts
"Numb"
I stroll through the midnight sky just to know I’m still alive
Watch those frozen puffs of smoke glide up so high
Still I become numb ever day as I slowly get hung.

Reach so hard for this fluttering dove but can’t grasp it when it comes.
Just standing in this place watch it dissipate.
Feel it seep into my veins this excruciating pain

Can’t seem to find a true life in this bottomless strife.
The needle always in my arm, never seeming to shake, it’s so hard.
The drugs slowly stopping my heart.

The cold wind whipping from the north as my souls slowly torn.
The leaves flying in the breeze just becoming so weak.
Still I become numb ever day as I slowly get hung .

The smoke burning my lungs, my mind feeling stung.
Can’t seem to let go of this barbwire rope,
And my face filled with lies as my insides cry.

Opionins
I don't want to become numb like I am always on drugs.

In Limbo

2004-12-27T21:29:00.000-08:00

Thoughts
"In limbo"
I’m stuck here in limbo
In a place No one knows.

In a place of broken down images and corrupted illusions
Where I reach for something more but can’t open that door.

Wandering these lost and forgotten roads
In this rotting land where there’s not another soul

Only able to find dying ties and withering lies.
Only able to feel the cold touch of death not able to find a shred of rest.

Time just flowing across the sky as I try and grab it with all my might.
Walking through all this mess with these hounds snapping to be fed.

Walk so delicately through these cracked shells
Just waiting for it all to fail.

I’m stuck here in limbo
In a place No one knows.

Opionins
Another dying night stuck here in limbo. (Sorry edited a single part of this that thought would sound better.)

One Last Dream

2004-12-13T20:48:00.000-08:00

Thoughts
“One Last Dream”
We always found a way to meet in this dream where this twisted land made so much sense.
But I know this won’t stay just want to find a way to end this pain.

She can’t forget these nightmares from past lives
I just want to sooth these fears for one more night.

I see a girl running down these endless streets from that place we meet.
She doesn’t want to leave me so but I stand in this place alone.

I can see that same season coming again; it will find its way in.
But I want to meet you in this dream once again,
Make this old place fade away.

They say it was just a game but I don’t care for what they say.
They don’t know what I have said and told.
Don’t know what I have been shown.

I’m tired of waking up to this beat up place,
tired of not being able to find a better way.
tired of not finding an escape, tired of this worn out face.

But this is the last night I will dream, I can see this shattering into a thousand pieces.
Even though I don’t want it to leave, they will disappear from this seen.

I can see that same season coming again; it will find its way in.
But I want to meet you in this dream once again,
Make this old place fade away.

Opionins
This will be our last dream, I can't take this anymore, Just want to end this pain.

Demons

2004-12-12T20:46:00.000-08:00

Thoughts
“Demons”
This demon tags along ripping at my flesh tearing its way in so deep.
My insides’ rotting away as it eats its way into me

I try and hide it under my skin but it swims behind my eyes.
Its voice portrays so many things, not sure what’s truth or lies.

It wants to rip me apart, stand there holding my bleeding beating heart.
It poisons my mind, drinks and devours my life.

I’ll always be tainted never be truly sane.
Always carry this blackhole in my soul.

These demons always inside of me feeding.

Opionins
I can hear the feast.

Frozen Rose

2004-12-11T14:48:00.000-08:00

Thoughts
"Frozen Rose"
I admire this ice covered red rose while the heavens cry white tears of snow.
Yearning to feel, wanting to grab it, and know this is all real.

Still it cries bloody tears every time I try to hold it in my hands
I can see in the pedals all the torment and pain it’s had.

I sit in this frost covered landscape hoping I can one day grab a hold of this ice covered rose
Brush it with my tainted touch just enough to keep it from dying of this never ending season of ice.

As every moments passes by my touch makes it cry so many frozen diamonds.
So I wait in the middle of this winter blizzard trying to keep the pedals warm.
Just hope one day it will see spring float in on a lost butterfly’s wings.

Be able to watch it bloom into the beautiful rose that I know.

Opionin
I'm Sorry.

Underlying Ties

2004-12-06T19:47:00.000-08:00

Thoughts
“Underlying Ties”
Carried on the glimpse of a passing mind where everything is so right
No one needs to be shown no matter how many days are blown

We see the messages that come in on a ray light.
We hear what is said on a midnight winter breeze
We feel it in the endless realities of never ending nights.
We understand it in the falling tears of a persons weeping.

Flittering in on the glance of a beautiful sight never seen
Always lost in the current of our souls that never have peace

It wisps in on the glorious morning sun rise
Mixed in the endless colors smeared across the sky.
Never have to be told why or ever really try.

On the waves of space comes in the underlying noise.
So I open the door, let the summer wind carry in the stories of so many voices.
And never close my eyes just reach for the rope in the chain of ties.

Opionin
All I can say is this is one of my most interesting pieces I put together but I am very pleased with how it came out, think it really portays what I ment it to.

The Looking Glass

2004-12-05T21:23:00.000-08:00

Thoughts
"The Looking Glass"
I watch as Alice stands on the edge of the looking glass,
Peering through at the endless flickering images of beauty that disappear so fast.

She tries to capture what she can as they dance on by,
Never wants to close her eyes and let one fade and die.

She stands bearing her soul wanting to show the creatures of wonderland through the glass
Show them a world with so many gorgeous features, a world that they could never fathom.

She stands there holding on to her hope
Just keeps trying as time comes unsowed.

I watch as she slowly crumbles and cracks never letting go of that hope.
She will always have places untold that those creatures will never have.

I watch as the whole world goes away
Still that hope never seems to fade.

Opionins
I hope you guy's like this one.

Where to go?

2004-11-26T18:24:00.000-08:00

Thoughts
"Where to go? "
Want to grab the stars from the midnight sky, spin them into an oblivion of light
Change everything and make it into a perfect paradise.

Still it steals a bit of my soul every day
Leaves a bottemless whole of hurt and pain.

Run and run don’t want to get consumed by that monster
But this can’t go on for much longer.

Watch as this glass house slowly cracks and breaks a million different ways.
Cutting me and causing this never ending bleeding.

Stand in broken pieces, watch time just flow,
Not able to find where to go.

Just watch myself descend into a shell of a man,
Watch my hope just twirl down the can.
Look so hard for a single shred of redemption in this twisted land.

Not sure if I can hold myself together.
As I try and make this corrupt image better.

Opionins
I am not sure.

Open Roads

2004-11-24T16:31:00.000-08:00

Thoughts
"Open Roads"
We just keep finding our way down these open roads just keep growing old. So many get lost on the path, just get lost in the cold.

Find green forests were we want to stay but it always just withers into dust still you sit in that desert tell the end of your days, never letting go of that lust.

The storms come and flood your path. drowns you and washes you down, yet you accept that it's always going to be that bad.

We just keep finding our way down these open roads just keep growing old. So many get lost on the path, just get lost in the cold.

Hit these mountains that seem to high so you never try and climb, just let out that sigh.

Find these creeks Just want to take a peek but there just dried up but all you do is blame it on luck.

Opionin
Heres my newest one guys, hope you enjoy it.

Dearest Friend

2004-11-21T22:24:00.000-08:00

Thoughts
"Dearest Friend"
Take my hand my child, don't drop those worn out diamonds from your eyes like rain from the sky.

Really, should I try tell the end, my dearest friend?
Keep on with this struggle I can't seem to win?
Try and keep a hold of this withering hope?
Even when its so worn out and old?

Take my hand my child, don't drop those worn out diamonds from your eyes.

Child, Child, Don't let it tear its way in even though this perfect cycle seems to have no end.
It seems as if a hound chained and bound
but you have a gift few will ever get no matter how many of there days are blown on the wind.
Can see the faint glimmer in the endless darkness of this sorrow.
Always have a reason for tomorrow.
You have so much more in life then you will ever realize.

Opionins
I figured I would post this piece. It has been qualified to be published in a poetry book and insterted into a contest, guess I'll see what happens.

The Perfect Song

2004-10-11T22:29:00.000-07:00

Thoughts
The Perfect Song
I'll just keep going in this direction
Try to keep a grasp of this beautiful reality.
Try to keep a hold of this perfect serinity.

I can't find a real correction.
is what I see how its suppose to be?
Every one just trying to escape and leave?

OOoooooo Babe babe there is no wrong way, just so many mistakes.
just infinite shades of grey.
I'll just watch everything mix together in endless ways.

Just keep following this stream.
Stay above the current and all the rest.
just try to clean this neverending mess.

Try never to get beat.
I'll just keep on trying to understand.
Trying to figure out this strange land.

OOoooooo Babe babe there is no wrong way, just so many mistakes.
just infinite shades of grey.
I'll just watch everything mix together in endless ways.

Just move along in this song.
feel the vibrations of the minute strings, The perfect harmony they sing.

Opionin
Heres my newest one hope you guys enjoy it and understand what I am trying to convey.

Fleeting Memories

2004-10-03T22:05:00.000-07:00

Thoughts
Fleeting Memories
Look past my eyes and see the endless nights that have passed me by, trying to get my fill never able to heal.
I forgot about time and never looked at my life just broke free of my cocoon and spread my wings toward the moon.
I tried to fly so high to escape all the familiar sights didn’t want to end up stuck in that rut.

Tattered and torn wings are all that’s left of these fleeting memories.

I did so much in my past walked down the wrong path,
The lights were all so blinding helping me ignore all the warning signs.
I have lived so many lives should of died in so many ways but now I just have all this pain.

Tattered and torn wings are all that’s left of these fleeting memories.
It will never heal guess it is all for real.

Look past this skin
See the scars gauged in my bleeding heart.
Will there be some one here once it all comes to an end.
Since I threw away my only true friend.

I guess all I have left is this mess from all the ways I drowned out this place.
Now just try to find my way day by day
Never make that same mistake.

Tattered and torn wings are all that’s left of these fleeting memories.
Always be here to remind me of these fears I tried to ignore for so long.

Opionin
Here's my newest one. I know its been a while since I have updated but I have been working on my books and been busy with work so just hang in there if you actually check this blog. Thanks.

A Soul a Drift

2004-08-01T19:06:00.000-07:00

Thoughts
A Soul a Drift
I'm lost in this ocean of endless knowledge and emotion. I'v drifted for so many nights and days not able to find another soul anyway.

OOOOoooooOoo....

I feel it in every strand of my being theres a point to be seen. It's not just a endless baron place that no one can escape.

EeeeeEEEEeeeewww...

I'v been lost for so long forgot who I am and whats going on. I'll just keep drifting through the seasons looking for a greater reason.

AaaaaaAAAAaaaaAA..

Try to find that long lost oasis no one sees, that always evades me. Keep searching well the days go by until I can let out my final sigh.

OooooooOOOo just keep on trying it will be alright.
(Cynical Laughter) Don't become a crack pot and get lost.
(Cynical giggles fade out)

Opionin
Heres my newest one. I actually finally updated this thing for any one who might actually read it. Sorry guys been busy with work, friends, and life. I am working on my book though and want to get more done.

New Writing.

2004-07-28T17:55:00.000-07:00

Opionin
Well now that my good friend is gone and I have no one to have discussions with, my mind will be running off with so many thoughts, images, and ideas that I should start putting out more writing again. I still am planning on getting "A Dying Butterfly" done and getting "Ascension" rehosted some where for you guys.

A Place of Vibrating Strings.

2004-07-25T03:15:00.000-07:00

Thoughts
A Place of Vibrating Strings
Let me take you on a ride that no one else has ever tried.
Too a place you can never escape once you have found your way.

Very few want to try.

Let me take you on a ride through the ruins of the human mind.
Past the black holes of our souls and the nebula blooms, to the end of the inner desert and dunes.
Over the oceans of endless emotions and into the vibrating strings that fly on by.

Its to late; now you can't turn around. that voice will always wonder why.

Through the eleven dimensions I mentioned, to the edge of the universe.
Where everything is unified and seems so right. Where you have a reason to live by.
Where you can stand still and see gods will, Where you know everything is real.

You will never truly escape now that you have seen this place.
Always find you way back every single day.

Opionin
All I can say is this piece is a interesting one that I like. Hope you enjoy it.

Meaningless Trip

2004-07-18T02:27:00.000-07:00

Thoughts
Meaningless Trip
walk on by, join the endless line.
they're all seeming to find there way in.

let out a sigh, Every one wants to say its just fine.
keep going until the bitter end.

All just part of the same meaningless trip,
that seems to makes no sense.

Were all wandering down this road, warn out and exhausted.
Looking for a new sight, ignoring our mind.

I'm just finding the same old souls, torn down and lost.
looking for a new high, lost in the same fight.

All just part of the same meaningless trip.
that seems to makes no sense.

waiting for the day they feel good.
never having a single clue.

Never trying to see what they should.
always being so untrue.

All just part of the same meaningless trip.
that seems to makes no sense. no sense to this end.
Find the sense.

Opionins
Heres newest piece I have done. Sorry for the slow updates but have been having a busy summer with my friend but will try to get "A Dying Butterfly" done.

A Dying Dog

2004-07-08T00:55:00.000-07:00

Thoughts
A Dying Dog
Good night for I will be leaving from this eternal lie.
I won't shed a tear of remorse or fear.
I have been waiting so long for this day.

never fall down another rabbit hole, never build another wall.
escape from all the mindless slaves with all there blind hate.

Finally be able to escape from this insane parade.
I won't be afraid I will be returned what I have paid.

No one can come to there end, they just keep trying to win,
even when there in debt and wet and over there head.

will all sink far bellow there feet.
over the years rot and be forgotten.

we can stop this eternal lie, if we truly try.
Find such a better way, every day, we aren't fading.

still time will just erase all I'll say.
at least I tried to end all these sad lies.

Opionin
Heres my newest piece hope any one who might check this site likes it. ;)

Unstoppable Monster

2004-07-01T19:27:00.000-07:00

Thoughts
Unstoppable Monster
You feed it every day because you won't go a different way.
Nurture it like a baby even though its aged.

It just keeps growing because they will never take a break.
They won't see what they create.

Its all around me, right in my face.
Waiting for me to give in and make a mistake.

never allowing serenity.
people dying for an eternity.

This monster of anger and hate,
Its unstoppable at this rate.

I see him every single day,
In so many different ways.

Snap out and throw people aside.
How many corpses can it pile.

It will just keep spreading through this socierty because people won't put up a fight.
It will never die, always just be some where in the shadows, just trying to hide.

This monster of anger and hate,
Its unstoppable at this rate.
I might as well just sit aside and not put up a fight.
Watch it devour them one by one until there all gone.

ha ha isn't this so much fun.

Opionin
Here's my newest piece and it was inspired by a stranger wandering the streets. Hope you understand what I am trying to convey here.

Wilted Rose

2004-06-26T17:11:00.000-07:00

Thoughts
Wilted Rose
Its been so long since I’v come down to these parts where I can feel my hart,
Yearn for your touch, accept your love.
Before I didn’t know,
Was afraid of what you had to show and all your hope.
Couldn’t understand what you meant in the message you tried to send.
didn’t want to get pulled back down to the ground.

What happened to you my lone rose?
What happened?

I floated away and ignored what you had to say. Was so scared of your meaningfull talk.
Ended up in the swarm with all the other whores. Just found so many bad guys with so many bad sides.
Hoping to find the perfect end but just got stung again and again, when the height was right from the beginning.

What happened to you my lone rose?
I just want you and me to grow old.

Wanted to find that lone soul in the endless thorned roses. Listen to those hopes, help you run the show.
It seems it’s to late things have gone a bad way.
Your pedals have fallen off. They have thrown you in a padded pot.
My harts crying because I know you tried to fight and make things alright.

Whats happened to you my lone rose?

Struggled until you had nothing left.
Struggled until you were a broken mess.

You have lost your soul.

You don’t deserve this but no matter what I try I can’t make things go back to being right.
All I can do is keep going on and hope your in a better place where you feel no more pain.
So now I’ll leave from these parts where I can feel my hart; Yearn for your touch, accept you love.

Goodbye my lone rose. A part of me will always be gone.

Opionins
Heres newest one that marks the dedicated start to my project "A Dying Butterfly". I hope you guys enjoy this.

A Beatiful Tradegy

2004-06-20T18:20:00.000-07:00

Thoughts
A Beautiful Tradegy
The coolest breeze blows through my hair, relieving me of all my cares.
The warmest rays hit my skin, hoping this day will never end.
The comforting smiles shine on to my eyes, and they'll never lie.
But this will never last. It will all just be part of the past.

This beauty will just change in a sad way.

We can't keep heading down this path and expect this beauty to last.
We can't keep taking without giving and expect the rules to keep on bending.

This beauty will just change in a sad way.

It will all go away and never come back to play.
It will all dissipate because we never change our ways.
It will all just leave because we won't look and see.

I'll just keep staying here.
I'll just hold back all these tears.
Just try to keep a hold,
well this beatiful tragedy unfolds.

Opionin
Heres a new one I wrote that I am pretty pleased with. I hope you guys just are as pleased with it.

Never Stop

2004-06-17T21:31:00.000-07:00

Thoughts
Never Stop
I can't take this anymore. Tolerate barely anymore.
It's all so wrong to just say it'll be alright for so long.
I know it will all just rot and never stop.

The sands of time will just keep going on,
even after all is said and done.

It'll never stop.
I'll never be able to take a break, never be able to just leave behind this fate.
I'm so afraid of whats going to come, not knowing the end sum.

The sands of time will just keep going on,
even after all is said and done.
ever after we finish are run.

Opionin
Heres a short one put together. Sorry for the slow updates guys but I will keep them coming, so if any one does check this site come by once a week and there should be a new one. Also got the plans for my next project worked out just need to start putting it together.

Confused Kingdom

2004-06-08T23:18:00.000-07:00

Thoughts
Confused Kingdom
All the people wander around looking for something more, ignoring all the doors. Looking around with out a single clue.
They keep living in there fragile houses with there porsolen spouses. never expecting anything to break.

Walk back and fourth.
stroll down the endless streets.

Suzzy just wanted to find a right man and not just another one night pad. She just got drug along never seeing a new dawn.
Tommy couldn't fit in he just wanted to find a friend. He wasted every night away slowly rotting away.
Theres so many ghosts that wander,

Walk back and fourth
Stroll down the endless streets.

They hate being so vicous.
hate knowing there really atrocious.

Need some one to bring it all together
Remind them they could be deader.

Lead them back and fourth.
Stroll them down the endles streets.

Opionin
Well once I can find a place to put up "Ascension" for download again I will re-release it but until then heres another piece.

Connected

2004-06-06T16:47:00.000-07:00

Thoughts
Connected
I can hear all your suttle voices, see all the confused noises. Understand memories of future and past. try to make people understand what they can't. Make people see where all connected.

Do all I can and fix this plan.

I'm so confused though.
can't figure out what this means can't understand all I see.
But I won't give up, just keep traveling down this road with what I know.

Do all I can and fix this plan.

No one will truly understand but it won't matter because everything will be so much better.
I won't have to linger around and be bound. Just watch from far and let everyone have there part.

everything will finally be alright.

Opionin
This is all I can hope for one day. Well I hope you guys enjoy this piece.

Ascension Problems

2004-06-06T11:59:00.000-07:00

Opionin
I have found out that my project "Ascension" has gotten corrupted some how and now has large gaps in it and pieces missing from it, so until I can get it fixed I will be taking it down. I hope no one downloaded it after this happened and read it, if so please get it again after I fix it. Sorry about this.

On Another note under the project section I have added other projects that are in either planning or working stage. They are noted with the * in front of them.

Superficial Memories

2004-06-06T00:00:00.000-07:00

Thoughts
Superficial Memories
Reality is so drug out just like a old hound. I can't stand this anymore it's all such a bore. A day is like a life time wasted away.
They all say there's no reason to stay. They just pull me farther away.They make the dullness disappear. They give me a reason not to be here.

You stare for so long.
Worshipping that square god.

They've killed my creativity, they've destroyed my seranity. Turned my mind so numb give away all this false fun.
Where have the hours gone. I'v gotten lost in the false imagry made these superficial memories. My god whats going on.

My mind doesn't know whats real and fake. My eyes feel like there baked.
All these shapes pull me in make me want to commit so many sins.

You stare for so long.
Worshipping that square god.

Just please leave me in these superficial memories. Don't ever disturb me.

Opionins
Its just beeen another one of those nights where you feel like you have spent a life time dieing. Wish I could spend these hours making things change. Wish I could make this a better place. OO well maybe some day I can.

The Barren Desert

2004-06-05T01:46:00.000-07:00

Thoughts
The Barren Desert
Lost in a desert with no fate.
So parched with nothing to drink.

You'v been lost for so long you can't even remember where you belong. Just hoping to find a oasis just find a way out of the suns rays.

Where are you going without ever knowing?
Just becoming bitter and old like the winter cold.

It's to late, you've wandered far off, you're way to gone. You'll never escape the sea of sand, never see fresh land.
The burning won't give in. your skin is boilin. You'll never find relief never find that cooling breeze.

Where are you going without ever knowing?
Just becoming bitter and old like the winter cold.

You'll be lost in the heat until you're days are finally beat.
You'll never find your place and be able to rest.
Never feel safe or be at your best.

You'll just become bitter and old like the winter cold.

Opionin
Heres a new one for you guys. Hope you see what its about

Comments Section

2004-06-03T21:58:00.000-07:00

Opionin
I have added a section for comments. The link for it is at the bottom of every post so please give me any feed back you want, just be mature about it.

Major Format Update

2004-06-02T18:45:00.000-07:00

Opionin
If you didn't notice I did a major format change and added a new colum to the right which has up to 10 previous posts and a partial profile of which is linked to my full one. Well that is all I wanted to say.

Fade Away

2004-05-31T14:04:00.000-07:00

Thoughts
Fade Away
One day my body with age will fade away. I will finally leave this place. Never need to get up again or try to find the meaning to this end. finally be able to let out a sigh of relief.

One day I will fade away. a shell sinking under there feet.
never have have another care or shed another tear.

But I'm afriad, very afraid that everything will be the same. that I couldn't change the pace.
Make every moment so much sweeter.
Make every breath so much easier.
But I'm trying, Trying so hard to stop this perfect circle. stop people from hiding like a turtle.

Just let one free before I fall down. never hear another sound.
before I'm given my stone and my never ending home.

One day I will fade away. a shell sinking under there feet.
never have have another care or shed another tear.

until then I must never give in. try to start a smoldering fire. Lift up the tired.
help the ghosts that are blown on the cold wind. help the dead that wander to no end.
ignite the torch and revive the corpse.

Because one day I will never have another care or shed another tear.
be able to rest all I want and understand this song.

One day I will fade away. a shell sinking under there feet.
but I don't want them to forget me and what I could see.

Opionins
I'm every please with how this one turned out, it portrays what I want it to exactly and in a very emotional way. I hope you guys enjoy it. Also if you didn't notice I added a project link on the left side where I will post all my main projects. I still might get together the effort to start my own page.

An Eternal Empty Space

2004-05-31T01:18:00.000-07:00

Thoughts
An Eternal Empty Space.
I'll close my eyes.

And in the darkness. In the emptyniess I will shed this horrid skin
and be born again.

Be in a better place that I never need to escape.
with no more goobyes and no more sad sighs.

Be perfectly sastified with everything.
Be completely filled with nothing.

In the emptyiness. In the darkness I will shed this horrid skin.
and be born again.

Never want to ignore my eyes Never see another stormy sky.
Never stuck behind another gate, Never be in another chase.

Wash away all my pain and hate. Drowned away my empty face.
So I can rise again and see a new day in a brand new state.
Where everyone seems so bright and everything so right.

In the emptyiness. In the darkness I will shed this horrid skin.
and be born again.
and then rise to commit another sin.
Commit yet another sin.

Opionin
Heres another new one for you guys. Hope you enjoy it. I am also going to be trying to move this to a real webpage because theres a lot I want to do that I can't using there services. See if I can get the effort together to do it though.

Recommended Listening
Album: "Deftones" By Deftones
Song: "Minerva"

A Dieing Butterfly

2004-05-29T03:38:00.000-07:00

Thoughts
A Dieing Butterfly
Were will you fly with no sky?
Stuck on the ground with such beautifull wings.
Weighed down with so many pounds.
Followed by bees that just sting.

They hide there identity with lies.
Intice you with such lovely sights.

Your wings are tattered and torn.
your soul so worn. Just don't you die butterfly.

Drag you in with such honey and money.
Get you in there hive and pull of there disguise.
Show you such a truly wicked side.

Your wings are tattered and torn.
your soul so worn. Just don't you die butterfly.

Prick and Proud tearing you apart with no heart.
Keep you as a prize barely keeping you alive.
How many times will you stay until your wings wither and fade.
Why don't you just leave and see past there false meaning.

Never go back, just find your sky.
And soar so high.

Your wings are tattered and torn.
your soul so worn. Just don't you die butterfly.
Just don't you die.
Just don't you die.

Opionin
Heres my newest piece. Enjoy. I also am going to decrease the font size for people with lower resolutions. It might change around mutliple times though.

Ascension Released

2004-05-25T22:53:00.000-07:00

Opionin
Sorry theres no thoughts today because I have finally decided I'm never going to be 100% happy with my project because that is my nature so I am going to just release it how it is. I am very happy with the end result though, their are some things that bug me but I'v gotten only positive opionins on it so I am going to just release it how it is and not change it around anymore. I really hope any one who reads it really enjoys it and see's the reason I did this. Also Please feel free to e-mail me any opionins or criticism.

Download Ascension for Microsoft Word
Download Ascension for WordWord

Spiritual Cannibals

2004-05-20T21:20:00.000-07:00

Thoughts
Spiritual Cannibals
Hunt for those who are naive and weak. Track them down and start your feast.

Smell there good intuitions.
Hear there innocents.

Push and shove them, make them give in. Give them the bends.

Devour there soul hole.
Push them until there nothing but bones.

Tie them down to the cutting board, Pull out the bloody knives you have stored.
Carve them from head to toe, Just end there tomorrow.
Devour them whole, innocents and all.
Savor the best meat you will ever taste, just ignore there horrid face.
They shout in pain, but you’re to deaf to hear a single thing.

Devour there soul whole.
Push them until there nothing but bones.

Once there gone you’ll just move on.
Find yet another innocent victim.

Devour there soul hole.
Push them until there nothing but bones.

Opionin
Sorry to any one who might check this site on a regular basis. It has been a while since I have posted anything but I'v been trying to get some last opionins on my first project and get it polished up and ready to release. It should be released really soon though. In the mean time though heres something I dug up that I totally forgot I ever did. I figured I would put it up since I liked it.

Lamb to the Slaughter

2004-05-10T00:00:00.000-07:00

Thoughts
Lamb to the Slaughter
Little lamb, Little lamb ignore your shepherd, just wander through the beautiful green fields and get lost until your afraid you can’t feel. Just graze and gorge yourself until you’re so very full.

Where you wandering off to graze? Is it just another day?
Why won’t you hear his please? Understand what he sees.

You act like it means something to you, you think you seem to understand what it’s about, try to show others what you think when you think like a real fool. One day you’ll just get shredded by the wolves.

Where you wandering off to graze? Is it just another day?
Why won’t you hear his please? Understand what he sees.

Are you lost once again?
Well just return to his feet so your fright is eased.
Run back to him so you can feel again.
He’ll heal you in a moment and make every thing alright.

Were you wandering off to graze? Is it just another day?
Don’t you hear his teachings? Do you really see it’s that empty?

OO well you’ll just get shredded yet again.

Opionin
Here is my newest piece hope you guys understand it and most of all enjoy it, also my project is done just got alot of editing and polishing up to do.

Recommended Listening
Album: "Kid A" By Radiohead
Song: "The National Anthem"

Mice Maze

2004-05-05T14:50:00.000-07:00

Thoughts
Mice Maze
This is all seeming the same with no change.

Run through the same old ties, never really seeming to try. Caught in these endless lies, with all the other mice. No one questioning a thing or trying to break free. Comfortable in the same old place and running the same old race.

Lost in this maze that has no escape.
Run run until you have nothing left.

Father how long will we ride like this, when will we finally arrive. Should I even truly try or even put up a fight.

Should I be afraid to speak.
Should I ignore what I see.

Lost in this maze that has no escape.
Run run until you have nothing left.

Seeking the same old cheese. Not wanting something else to eat.

Its fine, just run through the same old sights.

Just be comfortable in your new world without a real care.

Opionin
Heres a new one I hope you guys enjoy. I'm really close to finishing up my first project few more things to do and editing then I will release it.

Closest Friend

2004-04-30T18:23:00.000-07:00

Thoughts
Closest Friend
So alone and it hurts so much. Want this pain to go away, want this empty feeling out of my way. It's alway here though, like a loving friend who never wants to leave me. Tagging along always needing me.

Come along friend,
Stay until the bitter end.

Hello friend, welcome back yet again. Please find your way in. I know you will never fail me, always join me for some tea. Always be here by my side no matter how much I try and lie.

Please won’t you just leave me.
Let me rest in peace.

Come along friend,
Stay until the bitter end.

Your like a blood sucking tick.
When will you end all this shit.

Come along friend,
Stay until the bitter end.

This will all come to an end and you will have to leave me then.

Opionin
This one wasn't really planned out just found some notes I scribbled down and it turned out into this once I finished it. Hope you guys enjoy.

Down Below

2004-04-27T16:53:00.000-07:00

Thoughts
Down Below
(The sound of soft wings flapping keeps coming closer until it sounds like its all around you)
(Then a tired man says,"There’s yet another storm on the horizon." and then sighs, as soft rain fades in and the sound of the wings flapping disappears)
(The rain gets harder for a little while with lightning crashing off in the distance, then a loud lightning crash goes off all around you and the rain stops as the lightning crash echoes off into the background)

You skip across the clouds,
High above the storm,
Never getting wet.
Never getting drug down.

I sit down here, so far below as you shine down from above. You float so up high in the sky, never seeming to truly try. Your so naturally perfect, your soul so pure. Your such a perfect cure.

Come down some day when there is no rain.
just let me fly so up high and meet you in the sky.

Won’t you see me for who I am?
Understand where I come from?
See past this horrible storm.
Cover me with your warmth.

Come down some day when there is no rain.
just let me fly so up high and meet you in the sky.

If you never come down.
Will you ever truly see me from so up high?
(The sound of wings flapping away into the distance comes in until they totally disappear)

Opionin
Yet another one done, hope you enjoy. If you guys haven't noticed I use the parathesis to show sound effects, also if there parathesis with a phrase in the middle of a song that is some one singing in the background.

Awakening

2004-04-27T00:46:00.000-07:00

Thoughts
Awakening
(A soft comforting laughter fades away)

My eyes are open, my vision so clear. There’s so much pain and suffering, so many who are ignorantly in bliss. There all just mice running through a daily maze, to blind to see any difference.

I must make things change,
Must help end all this endless pain.

shine a light on this dark place, Make things visible and understandable. Help ease peoples pain, help them escape from there daily maze. Show them there’s so much more; show them there truly not poor.

I finally can see,
How it make so much sense.
Never have a real judgment,
And always have your atonement.

I must make things change,
Must help end all this endless pain.

One day things will be better,
This void filled,
And my soul settled.

I must just keep trying until people stop lying about this life.
(Soft breathing in the background)

Opionin
Heres my latest piece I have put together. I am almost done with my project got just a little ways to go, I will release it once I have finished it and put everything together how I want it.

Recommended Viewing
Movie/Music Video: "The Wall"

Recommended Listening
Album: "Salival" By Tool
Song: "Third Eye"

Endless Friends

2004-04-25T03:54:00.000-07:00

Thoughts
Endless Friends
This pain is becoming old, this needle hole worn out but I can’t get rest from the nazi voices in my head without puffing the smoke. Drown them out, try to keep the whispers from becoming so loud..

ooooOOOOooOOOoo. Cut me open try to fix what is not broken

Take these pills; swallow them into the eternal abyss. Hoping to blur my rotting vision, try to subdue the little grinning men from tormenting and taunting, shouting and pouting. Not able to understand this endless shit.

Try to hide myself from there constant lies.
(A man sobbing fades into the background very quietly)
Yet they pick and prod at nothing, throw me in a cage and leave me to age.
(Sobbing gets louder then leads into maniacal laughter that slowly fades out)
Leave me with my friends in my head, with the little grinning men.
I will never be alone for I am the only one who knows.
There all mad and sad, have lost there heads.
(Evil giggles in the background)

Oo well they’ll never see how they are so wrong.
(Soft Laughter and giggles echoing until they fade away)

Opionins
I will only say one thing...... Interesting.

Recommended Viewing
Anime: "Fullmetal Alchemist"

Recommended Listening
Album: "The Wall" By Pink Floyd
Song: "Comfortably Numb" and "Hey You"

Lost Soul

2004-04-18T19:29:00.000-07:00

Thoughts
Lost Soul
In the next world. In another war for your soul the beasts will creep up on you and devour you whole. Tie you down make you there feast. Never let you leave or seem to never be able to escape. Just give in and go with an ease.

In a black hole, I will get lost.
Never see my soul, never have a shot.

In a fight of great titans. In a downhill struggle I will be shot like a rabid dog, wounded and unable to walk. Floating around lost in the universe. Caught in a curse and not able to grab the stars. Don’t worry because nothing will ever change.

In a black hole, I will get lost.
Never see my soul, never have a shot.

In the death of a star. In an eternal empty face I will fail and never see a different day.

In the lose of the innocent. In the slaying of those who appose, I will be falling down in a never ending hole.

Who will know I have lost my soul?

Opionins
Heres my new piece that I have done. I changed around the style a little in this one and hope you guys like it.

Oblivious

2004-04-16T20:51:00.000-07:00

Thoughts
Oblivious
I can see the puzzles meant to be complete so we must take this leap, try to understand what we can, complete it piece by piece. See how the heavens shine down from above and never start to shove.

Skip through life piece by piece,
Not wanting to figure out this disease.

No matter how hard I try or what I seem to say, you just stay in that haze, don’t try to figure what you can, just go feast by feast. You can’t seem to leave that oblivious state or see your sad fate.

Skip through life piece by piece,
Not wanting to figure out this disease.
Stuck with your farsideness,
Not able to see past your own face,
Stuck in your never ending chase.

Will you ever stop and take a look?

Opionin
Well heres new entry I hope you guys like it, also please feel free to send me any opionins if there is any one out there who reads this :). Also I keep revamping pieces and decided I will just submit the final product to the project which is coming together nicely I guess. Also for some good deep music you should listen to the album "Songs For The Deaf" By Queens of the Stone Age and make sure to listen to the lyrics, it's some really good stuff, also make sure you listen to it all in order. I know I already posted it as recommended listening but thought I would just reinforce that.

The World is Dieing

2004-04-15T21:13:00.000-07:00

Thoughts
The World is Dieing.
The world is dieing.

The Sun is dimming and the sky is falling, still people are lieing and souls are dieing but don’t you know, don’t you know we all have our days. I have done so much when I really truly did so little. Paid such a toll with the cost of my soul.

The world is dieing so ignore your eyes

Poured so much out, tried to shout. Tired and worn out of those who always want to pout. The sheep never seem to want to take the leap even though the end only seems to draw nearer. We only cast stones and see the loans and never look for anymore. Ignore those with site and stay in disguise.

The world is dieing so ignore your eyes.
Still it has drained me so low.
Seeming like an unbeatable foe.
But lets stop trying and just start the lying.
Go down like a pound.
End up like the rest in the sest.
Being blind as a bat and small as a nat.

The world is dieing so ignore your eyes.

Opionin
I revised one of my previous works to make it flow better. If you don't like the revision please send me an e-mail with your opionin and any criticism because it is fully welcome, that is if any one really reads this site though.

Perfect Little Place

2004-04-14T21:47:00.000-07:00

Thoughts
Perfect Little Place
Don’t you shed a tear for me little girl, don't you worry, here I will tell you a story. There was an immature man that had a love, though she would never see him for who he was. He wanted to make a change, escape from the daily maze but just ended up so dazed.

You’re in a perfect little place and every thing’s perfect in its little way.
So don’t shed a tear for the world, just never disappear.

His vision was so clear that He had such hope and wanted to tell so many folks but it just feel on deaf ears that didn't want to see there fears. They sucked him dry, tore him down, and only frowned.

You’re in a perfect little place and every thing’s perfect in its little way.
So don’t shed a tear for the world, just never disappear
You’re in a perfect little place and every thing’s perfect in its little way.

He was broken down to such a low that he stopped trying and started lying. Didn’t want to find that the world was dieing. So he decided to get lost and never have another cost. All is so much better this way because there is no more pain. Don’t shed a tear for me little girl, all is well, I can truly tell.

You’re in a perfect little place and every thing’s perfect in its little way.
So don’t shed a tear for the world, just never disappear.
Don’t open your eyes Just go along with the ride.
Live your life just like another fly.

You’re in a perfect little place and every thing’s perfect in its little way.
So don’t shed a tear for the world, just never disappear.

Don’t shed another single tear for every thing is perfectly real.

Opinion
Here's a new piece so I hope you guys really like it. I like how this one came out. Also please feel free to send any input or criticism you have on my writing. Anything is welcome and appreciated.

The World is Dieing

2004-04-13T19:56:00.000-07:00

Thoughts
The World is Dieing
The World is Dieing

The Sun is dimming, and The seas are collapsing. Still people are lieing and souls are dieing but don’t you know, don’t you know we all have our days. I have done so much when I really truly did so little. Paid such a toll with the cost of my soul.

The world is dieing so ignore your eyes

Poured so much out, tried to shout. Tired and worn out of those who always pout. The sheep never seem to want to take the leap even though the end only seems to draw nearer. We only cast stones and see the loans and never look for more. Ignore those with site and stay in disguise.

The world is dieing so ignore your eyes.
Still it has drained me so low.
Seeming like an unbeatable foe.
But lets stop trying and just start the lying.
Go down like a pound.
End up like the rest in the sest.
Being blind as a bat and small as a nat.

The world is dieing so ignore your eyes.

Opinion
Heres another one I have put together. Took alot more of a ryming theme, like Dr.Suess with this one. You will be able to hear it through out the whole thing. Hope you enjoy it.

Recommended Viewing
Anime: "Naruto" *Expecially the Gara story*

Recommended Listening
Album: "Dark Side of The Moon" By Pink Floyd
Song: "Brain Damage"

Immature Adult

2004-04-12T21:36:00.000-07:00

Thoughts
Immature Adult
I’m caught between a playground and workplace, not sure what is expected from me. Overwhelmed by the world around me, with no one to run to or no where to go to. Maybe one day I will figure something out, make a change.

So clueless and dazed.

Only a child with responsibilities. Nothing has changed. You want me to become so much when you don’t even realize who I am. Think you have me figured out when you don’t even know yourself

So clueless and dazed(Keep pushing me)
Try and find meaning.
Try and understand.
Wandering through the streets.
Clueless and Dazed(Nothings left of me)

Wanting to settle on my porch, watch the seasons go by. Enjoy my time alive, try to understand this ryme. Warm my bones by my fire and fly higher. All you do and all you feel is who you are so why not help those who truly need healed.

All I truly am is who I truly help.

Opinion
Another piece I am going to be adding to my project. I hope you guys enjoy this one.

Lose Yourself

2004-04-11T19:20:00.000-07:00

Thoughts
Lose Yourself
I toil everyday, work until my bones want to break. Bleed, sweat, and cry. build myself back up until I'm torn back down. Treated so kindly then used and abused. try so hard to find a reason but it all seems so meaningless.

Loose yourself.
Lost in a dream no one can figure out.
Loose yourself.

Fulfill my primal instincts, follow my lust. Try to fill a void no one can see. Pulled in all directions by my emotions, trying to find meaning to it all. Running in the same worn out race with the same worn out face.

Loose yourself.
Lost in a dream no one can figure out.
Loose yourself.

Just leave.
Just leave.
Don’t come back.

Running away, not looking back. Ignoring everything, ignoring everyone. Not caring anymore, just wanting to escape from the same sad tired faces and same sad tired places. Leave behind my overwhelming sorrow. Not able to see tomorrow

Loose yourself.
Lost in a dream no one can figure out.
Loose yourself.
Loose yourself.
Loose yourself......

Goodbye tired world, I won’t be coming back.

Opinion
I have decided to do a project that I am naming "Ascension" which will include a series of my pieces put together. I am not going to say anymore because rest is for you to figure out when I release it all togther and how I want it. This piece though is one that I am going to include in it so I hope you enjoy it. I also have changed the lay out a little to include a title to the piece.

Hope

2004-04-05T16:25:00.000-07:00

Thoughts
Hope
Try to figure out this impossible puzzle. Frustrated and confused, lost and let down, not able to make since of any of it. You try so hard, want so much, your hopes so high but not able to do anything about it. Try all you want, Try all you want, there's nothing wrong with trying.

Wanting so much more,
yet stuck, not able to go anywhere.
Wanting so much more,
yet stuck, not able to go anywhere.

Struggle so hard, squint your eyes, try to see the picture. Hits you like a falling rock, hurting so much but keep trying, one day hoping the puzzle's put together, the pictures clear. able to make since of it, able to understand it. Hope all you want, hope all you want, there is nothing wrong with hoping.

Wanting so much more,
yet stuck, not able to go anywhere.
Wanting so much more,
yet stuck, not able to go anywhere.........
who knows maybe one day it will come true.

Opinion
I decided to start to do all of my stuff like lyrics because I think they have more impact that way.

Recommended Viewing
Movie: "Reqium for a Dream"

Recommended Listening
Album: "Songs For The Deaf" By Queens of the Stone Age
Song: "No One Knows"

Constant Thirst

2004-03-28T18:48:00.000-08:00

Thoughts
The constant thirst wont go away, The empty feeling wont leave. Abonded and forgotten, left to rot in my dark prison why want you just come. Why want you quench my thirst, cover me with your wings, fill the void and shine your light. let me free. let me free. You aren't coming though, its here to stay. I can run and flee, try and hide, try and fight but not able to escape. lost and confused, stumbling and trying, I will grow wings one day and leave. Let me free. Let me free.

Recommended Viewing
Anime: "FLCL"

Recommended Listening
Album: "OK Computer" By Radiohead
Song: "Paranoid Android"

Illusions

2004-03-21T03:21:00.000-08:00

You, you believe, you believe what you see, when reality is just an illusion with fragments of truth lost through it, no one being able to tell the difference. Looking for only the pieces we want and nothing else. The truth lost in the same run down cyclse, and missed by the same run down faces. One day the picture resown and the illusion shattered but no one will know, blinded by the same run down cycles, and same run down faces, still clinging on to the bits and pieces of the illusion. Why won't they just listen? Why won't they just open there eyes? No one will know.

I hope this makes you think.

Endless Fog

2004-03-17T00:32:00.000-08:00

Thoughts
We're lost wandering through the haze, not able to see past the illusions that blind us from the truth. Tripping and stumbling not able to find our place anywhere. You can try and hide, You can try and fight but the empty feeling always chases along, poking and prooding, always finding a way in. Yet these false shapes and images in the bottom of a bottle help comfort and blind us even though the haze thickens and the emptiness grows, but we will not notice until it's to late. We will not notice until the bell tolls. We'll never see daylight or the true world. We'll stumble and fall even until our last breath has gone. Having never looked for more, only those fimiliar shapes and images in the bottom of the bottle to comfort and blind us well the haze thickens and the emptiness grows. Still one day wanting to escape from the lies and illusions but it is to late for time has slipped by and years have passed, so we look for those fimiliar shapes and images in the bottom of the bottle to comfort and blind us well the haze covers us and the emptiness consumes us. Never have seen the true world, only tripped and stumbled finding false shapes and images, so we finally take our last breath in regret, still lost and consumed.

I hope you all get the point of my thoughts. I also hope you think about it and enjoy it.

Recommended Viewing
Movie: "Donnie Darko"

Recommended Listening
Album: "A Rush of Blood to the Head" By Coldplay
Song: "God Put A Smile Upon Your Face"

Disenchanted Mind

2004-03-15T20:23:00.000-08:00

Thoughts
Why can't I just be another person going through the same daily routine and following my greed, not looking for more in life. Why can't I just ignore the sad bleak world around me? Why can't I just be another ignorant mind skimming through life?

As I sit here listening to Radiohead I am taunted and tormented by these constant thoughts I have. Everything is broken in this world and it doesn't matter what we do it will always be that way but I just wish I could change that. I wish I could make everything right and make every one happy but no matter what I try to do or show them it never changes a thing and everything stays exactly how it was before, broken.

Recommended Viewing
Anime: "Lain"
AMV: "Planet Wired" by dji

Recommended Listening
Album: "The Bends" By Radiohead
Song: "Planet Telex"